Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Gay Marriage and the Revolution of Revulsion

Feeling a tad burnt out on posting...my one post a day plan might have been a bit ambitious. But don't fear, I have many, many things to say, so even if I get lax at times, I promise I will return.

A quick aside: this internet thing is totally insane. I am a published writer now! Granted, no one but me had to decide that my work required or deserved publishing, but it's published all the same. Freedom of speech is the strongest weapon we "powerless save-the-world-ers" have against the powerful "no-the-world-is-fine-'cause-I'm-rich-and-powerful-ers", so I give the internet five thumbs up (my two plus one from each of my "followers"!) Amazing.

Anyway, I thought this would be a good time to throw up a column I wrote a little ways back. I intended to try to get it published (for real-like), but I think it's best here. Side note: What you're reading is my mom's edited version. Thanks, mom. (www.gailgoldenconsulting.com...doesn't she look great???)

Gay Marriage and the Revolution of Revulsion.

My name is Aaron Golden. I was born in the weed-isn’t-a-big-deal, draft-dodging liberal utopia of Canada (which is hardly as socially liberal as people give it credit for, but for the purposes of this article, the stereotype can stand.). My parents are University of Chicago intellectuals, my mother a psychologist, my father a professional musician. My first passion was musical theatre, I went to a mostly male private school, and my aunt is…let’s just say I call her my lesbi-aunt. Plain and simple, my upbringing was a textbook recipe for becoming a raging homo.

But something weird happened: I grew up loving pussy.

I still love it. It’s the best, women are the hottest. It’s unfair really, as my parents would have been open, accepting, and loving had I been gay, something the majority of young homosexuals have to live without. I had loads of gay theatre friends, who were always somewhat shocked that a football- playing straight guy would be as open and unfazed by their lifestyle as I was.

Because, theoretically, any argument opposing the gay lifestyle is just idiotic. To say gays shouldn’t marry because it takes a man and a woman to create kids doesn’t take into account the vast overpopulation of planet earth, the number of unwanted children who already exist, and the potential love and support that gay couples can give to children. To say a child needs both a mother and father is equally off-base, since as we don’t take children away from single fathers and mothers. Yes, I believe a child needs strong male and female role models, but as has been demonstrated time and again, others beside parents can fill these roles and it’s the parents’ duty to ensure their child is loved and supported. Besides, this whole line of argument implies that the only justification for marriage is procreation. To be sure, this is the traditional Catholic position, but most of us believe there are other excellent reasons to marry. And since we allow heterosexual couples who cannot or will not have children to marry, this point seems pretty irrelevant.

To say God says being gay is wrong…well, with separation of church and state, this should be a non-issue. If we need to take government out of marriage altogether, so be it. Legalize civil unions for everyone, and then find a church, synagogue, or any other religious institution that will marry you. If your church doesn’t believe in gay marriage, fine, they don’t have to perform it. But God is, supposedly, love.

However, and this is a big however, as a heterosexual, I have to admit I find gay love totally weird and incomprehensible. It is an absolutely foreign, almost lunatic concept to me. If I had never been told about gay love and sex, it never would have crossed my mind as an option.

As I looked around Huffington Post at pictures of gay couples and gay weddings, I was surprised at how foreign it still is to me. I support and love gay people and their fundamental right to be married, but I also think it is problematic to criticize others who see what you do as revolting.

I know this is a harsh word, but gay sex is revolting to me. (Lesbians not quite as much, but that’s beside the point.) This isn’t right or wrong, it’s just truthfully how I, and obviously many other people, feel. And this, finally, is my point: we’re surrounded by people who happily make choices that are so insane to us, assaulting our very sensibilities of what is right and wrong in the universe, that our instincts and emotions are thrown into confusion and terror. However, we must learn to calmly listen to these feelings of revulsion, and, if they have nothing to do with our own immediate lives, ultimately let them go.

This applies to everyone, gay and straight. I am also revolted by obese people gourging themselves at McDonald’s, or a person who spends ten hours a day playing online video games, or dare I say, picturing lots of heterosexual couples knocking boots. Conversely, I rarely clean up after myself...growing up with a housekeeper meant "messy shirts on floor" became "folded shirts in drawer." Suffice it to say, this amazingly didn't last after the housekeeper, but my "shirts on the floor" did. Revolting! People are constantly revolted: interracial couples, bizarre religious practices, sexual fetishes, clothing choices – the list goes on and on. Even food customs: “How can they eat THAT?!” Every single person on earth does something that others on this earth would find revolting.

Other people’s revolting behaviors create upsetting visual images, I get it. But these behaviors make others happy or satisfied or uplifted. So we should accept and support them. The only reasonable restriction is that they don’t hurt other people. Otherwise, they must be legal options. At the same time, we of the “open-minded” contingent must remember that overcoming one’s instincts, especially when they are as powerful as revulsion, is exceptionally difficult and requires a high degree of maturity. We must be patient and understanding, and not just assume because we love our personal peculiarities, other people should as well. We’re all allowed to be revolted, and, frankly, we don’t have a whole lot of control over it.

So, yes, gay haters, I get it. If two gay men walk down the street, you might picture for a split second what two dudes doing it would look and feel like. The mind is imaginative; you might even have to think about what it would be like to have a dick in your own butt. Oh well, you’ll think about unpleasant things in your life before and after that experience. Sorry, but there will never be a world without gay people. If it makes you that upset, go live in a cave.

And to all my gay friends whom I love dearly, enjoy your disgusting lifestyle! Hooray!


Aaron Sydney Golden

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